Oy, Promises, Problems, and a Portable Water Skin (Genesis 21:13–17)

Genesis 21:13
“Nu, don’t kvetch, Avraham. Even Ishmael—the boychik of the shifkha (slave woman)—I’ll make him a nation, ’cause, nu, זרעך hu, he’s your offspring. Oy gevalt, family trees come with many branches!”

Genesis 21:14
“So Avraham, the early-riser tzadik, packs a survival kit: one lechem-to-go, one BotaBag 1.0 full of water, plops it on Hagar’s shoulder like a holy hiking backpack, says ‘shalom, good luck,’ and—poof!—sends her wandering into Be’er-sheva wilderness, aka GPS signal dead zone.”

Genesis 21:15–16
“And when the BotaBag runs dry (classic desert problem), Hagar benches the kid under a bush—like, ‘Stay here, sweetheart, Mama needs a cry break.’ She schleps a bowshot away, kvetches, ‘I can’t watch this!’ and bursts into full Middle Eastern melodrama weeping.”

Genesis 21:17
“But Hashem goes, ‘Hagar, ma kara lach? מה לך, don’t panic. Chill! I heard the boy’s voice—yes, even dehydrated kids still kvetch loud. Fear not, I got this.’”

🕍 Commentary

• God blesses Ishmael too (Gen 21:13). Nu, just because you’re not the “Chosen Son of Promise” doesn’t mean you get bupkis. God says: “Relax, Avraham, I’m still gonna turn this kid into a startup nation.” Think: two family WhatsApp groups—Isaac’s covenant chat, and Ishmael’s desert survival squad. Both noisy.

• Abraham sends Hagar packing (Gen 21:14). He gives her bread and water—but no gold, no camel Uber. Rashi says because Ishmael “took the wrong derech.” Moral for LOL disciples: God’s promises come with provision, but sometimes it’s “minimalist mode.”

• Drama in the desert (Gen 21:15–16). Hagar’s parenting strategy = “park the kid under a shrub and cry.” Sometimes faith feels like you’ve run out of WiFi bars in the wilderness. But hey, God’s coverage plan = Unlimited, Everywhere.

• God hears the boy (Gen 21:17). Rashi’s twist: Ishmael gets judged where he is now, not by what his descendants will do later. Hashem doesn’t cancel you for your future mistakes—He checks your present TikTok feed. (Okay, that’s scary but also hopeful.)

🎺 Shofar Shuffler Takeaway

Rosh Hashanah reminds us:

• Family drama? Always.

• Covenant promises? Unshakable.

• Wilderness meltdowns? God still shows up.

• And even if you’re ben ha-shifkha or ben ha-malkah, the Holy One hears your cry—even under the WiFi-dead bush.

So nu, chevra—when the machzor feels heavy and the shofar notes come out sounding like a dying goat—remember: God hears you where you are.

✨ LOL Reflection Question for the Squad:
When you feel like Hagar in Be’er-sheva—bread gone, water skin empty, battery at 1%—how do you remember that God still hears your voice where you are?